| Digital Doorway Network |
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| Local Area Directory Information |
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| Grain Valley, Missouri |
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JOKES - COMPUTERS YOU have just received the "Saskatchewan Virus". As we here in Saskatchewan don't have any programming experience, this virus works on the honor system. Please delete all the files from your hard drive and manually forward this virus to everyone on your mailing list. Thanks for your cooperation. Jethro ********************************************************************************************* I WORKED with an individual who plugged their power strip back into itself and for the life of them could not understand why their computer would not turn on. ********************************************************************************************* TECH Support: "What does the screen say now." Person: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'." Tech Support: "Well?" Person: "How do I know when it's ready?" ********************************************************************************************* AS A forestry-service employee, my sister recorded the rainfall in her area. One drizzly day, her thoughts were apparently elsewhere as she typed "thirty three inches" instead of "thirty-three hundredths of an inch" into the computer. It was obvious that the machine had been programmed by someone with a sense of humor, for this message quickly appeared on the screen: "Build the ark. Gather the animals two by two. . . ." ********************************************************************************************** I WAS working the help desk. One day one of the computer operators called me and asked if anything "bad" would happen if she dropped coins into the openings of her PC. I asked her if this was something she was thinking of doing. She said, "never mind" and hung up. So I got out my trusty tool kit and paid her a visit. I opened her CPU case and sure enough, there was 40 cents. ********************************************************************************************* WHILE waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By the time he reached the teller's window, the hiccups seemed to have worsened. The teller took my friend's check and proceeded to run a computer verification of his account. After a minute she looked up from her terminal with a frown and said that she would be unable to cash his check. "Why not?" my friend asked incredulously. "I'm sorry, sir," she replied, "but our computer indicates that you do not have sufficient funds to cover this amount. As a matter of fact," she continued, "our records show your account overdrawn in excess of $5000." "It can't be!" he cried. "You have to be kidding!" "Yes, I am," she answered with a smile, counting out his cash. "But you will notice that your hiccups are gone." *********************************************************************************************** |
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